Monday Top Tip No. 03: Mum First, The Rest Will Follow
The Secret to a Family-Friendly Garden? Start with Yourself.
Welcome back to Monday Top Tips! This weekly series is all about helping you create a garden that’s beautiful, meaningful, and perfectly suited to your life—one simple, actionable step at a time.
I’m Elisabeth, an Edinburgh-based Garden Coach and Designer, here to guide you in transforming your outdoor space into a place of joy and connection for you and your family.
Last week, we talked about how seating is everything—having a comfortable spot to sit makes you want to spend more time outside, which naturally strengthens your connection to the garden. You can read about my post here ⬅️.
Today, we’re building on that idea with a simple but powerful principle:
Mum First, The Rest Will Follow.
01. Your Kids Want to Be Where You Are
It’s easy to think that your garden needs trampolines, football nets, or climbing frames to get your kids outside. But here’s the truth:
What they need most is you.
Think about your kitchen. It’s rarely designed for children—no toys, no play zones—yet it’s where they always seem to end up. Why? Because that’s where you are.
💡 The same principle applies to the garden. When you create a space that you love—a place where you naturally want to spend time—your kids will follow. Your joy in the garden will draw them in, making it a space for the whole family to enjoy.
02. Start with YOU: Create a Space You Love
Instead of focusing on play equipment right away, start by designing an area that feels like a retreat for you.
Choose a cozy spot—maybe a sunny nook or a quiet corner under a tree.
Make it comfortable. Add a chair or bench, a soft throw for chilly mornings, and a little table for your tea or coffee.
Surround yourself with beauty. Use potted plants, flowers, or even a simple row of herbs to make the space inviting.
🌿 When you love being in your garden, your family will naturally follow.
How This Changed My Own Garden
When we moved into our home in July 2022, I was beyond excited to have a garden of my own! It had so much potential—south-facing, large (for a city garden)... but also mostly concrete and lawn.
So, in my excitement, I called a garden designer to help me figure it out. He took one look around and told me it would cost £80,000 to make it "acceptable." 😳
💰 Let me ruin the surprise: we did NOT have £80,000 lying around.
So what could I do?
At that stage, I knew NOTHING about garden design except what I’d picked up from binge-watching Garden Rescue (I still love the Rich Brothers). But I knew one thing for sure—I needed somewhere to sit.
So, I started with a bench. Just a simple seating area.
And the funniest thing happened...
💡 Because I was drawn into the garden (I LOVE sitting on that bench and drinking tea), my kids wanted to be in the garden.
The Kitchen Principle
I didn’t start with trampolines, football goals, or climbing frames. I didn’t set up a single thing for the kids at first.
Yet, they were outside ALL THE TIME.
Why? Because I was outside.
🐣 Your kids are like little ducklings. They want to be where you are.
Here’s the mistake I see so many of my clients making:
❌ “If I add a trampoline, my kids will play happily in the garden, and I can get stuff done in the house.”
🙋♀️ Has that EVER actually worked for you or any of your friends?
“The Kitchen Principle: Why Creating a Space for YOU Brings the Whole Family Outside”
Most of my clients tell me the same thing:
“My kids only use the trampoline if they have friends over.”
“They don’t really play outside unless I’m out there too.”
Ok, so let’s focus on getting YOU into the garden first.
What Do YOU Want From Your Garden?
Before worrying about play equipment, think about what YOU need from your garden.
🌿 Somewhere lovely to sit
🌞 Somewhere relaxing
🎨 Somewhere inspiring
💖 Somewhere that brings you joy
When YOU love being in the garden, your kids will naturally follow you outside. And then, their imagination will take over—they’ll turn sticks into wands, rocks into castles, and flower petals into fairy potions.
Your Action Step This Week
🌸 Create a space for YOU. Even if it’s just a single chair in a sunny corner, start there. Make it cozy. Add some plants. Let yourself enjoy being in the garden.
And watch as the rest follows.
Follow Along for More Tips!
Next week, we’ll talk about designing with joy in mind—making sure your garden is not just practical, but a reflection of the life you want to live.
🌿 Follow me on Instagram for more tips on creating a garden you LOVE.
Your dream garden is closer than you think—one step at a time.
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Thank you for stopping by. If you have any questions, I’d love to hear from you! Get in touch: Elisabeth@joyfulgarden.co.uk
